• Joe: "You can mentally undress me."
• Joe: "The worst part of fasting: no 'Where My Girls At'."
• Joe: "I was wondering what happened to Paul... or Peter."
• Ryan: "...yea, and the Janitors." Joe: "What, the Janitor must go down with the building?"
• Ada: "It's not just three letters next to each other. They're a person." (Speaking on her name)
• Joe: "STAGNAT ECONOMY.... BOOOOM!!!!"
• Ryan: "How do you spell 'Scarborough Fair'?" Joe: "Scarborough Fair."
• Joe: "I deleted the shortcut; that's the end of it." Ryan: "Didn't I just hear you playing it today?" Joe: "Oh, I took it out of the recycling bin."
• Kim: "I am a totally sensitive person, but I have a very strong intellect, and my intellectual side dominates my sensitive side...at least, that's what my psychic tells me."
• Dan Rudoy: "public class Woman extends Object"
• Tom: "Joe, I think you have a soft spot for Blues-y rock 'n roll." Joe: "Yea, I think you're right. ... I do like the theme song to 'Roseanne'."
• Joseph Theodore Mazor: "You can be complex and still be relatively simple."
• Tom: "Umm.. Chris, I don't think this method is working." (after spilling hot water into Chris' double-boiling system, effectively ruining a perfectly good cup full of melted butter)
• Ryan: "I'm just staying up till I go to sleep."
• Chris: "I don't know if I could deal with another dawn." (said wistfully while wandering around restlessly after a week with very little sleep)
• Joe: "FASHION VETO!" (after Chris decided to use speaker wire as a belt)
• Joe: "I'll spend my last three minutes cramming." Chris: "Why don't you get dressed instead?" Joe: "Oh, right." (minutes before his 8:30am final)
• Joe: "I don't remember leaving myself a reminder. When did I write this?" Tom: "What does it say?" Joe: "It says that... 'I suck'."
• Mashiro Fujita of Sony: "We do our best for being received the robots by the end of January, so that you have longer time to develop." (in an email sent to Tom, on his company's plans to expedite the delivery of new robot dogs)
• CSE Professor Kostas Daniliidas: "At this time, you may either leave or get out. ... oh, or stay!" (half way through a final exam)
• Joe: "You really shouldn't call me lard ass... you can call me 'Mass Ass', though."
• Joe: "I get along fine with other people, they just don't get along with me."
• Tom to Joe's Mom, on the phone: "Enjoy having Joe around for Spring Break." Joe's Mom: "What, is that some kind of joke? Actually, I guess I miss him enough at this point that I won't mind having him around for a few days."
• Joe: "There's something so sexy about a woman dancing with a snake."
• Joe: "I suck. I don't understand."
• Joe: "Programmers only make, like, in the hundreds of thousands." (on the limitations of pursuing a career in engineering as compared to a career in investment banking)
• Ryan: "I thought you liked arrogance?" Joe: "I only like subtle arrogance."